The season is over, the champions are crowned, somewhere a new league commissioner is getting her agenda ready for 2012, all is right with the world!
The Champions of the 2011 O'Bannon Creek Golf Club Friday Night League are Donna and Steve Bunn! Congratulations, Donna, for putting up with Steve all season and playing well enough to overcome his consistently poor play! Seriously, good job Steve and Donna.
Darlene and Ben Basone finished second followed by Jay and Janet Kuhn. Congratulations on a very good season, Darlene, Ben, Jay, and Janet.
Now, there is some unfinished blogging business from a bit earlier in the season. We (Dave and Kathy Shaut) were playing Ben and Darlene Basone one nice Friday night. On number 8, Ben hit his routine nice drive down the left center of the fairway, and Darlene hit a good drive that ended up in the rough down the right side. Ben dropped Darlene off near her ball with a fairway wood in her hands and proceeded to his ball. Darlene hit her second shot, and then Ben hit a great shot that landed three feet past the hole, spun back, barely missing the hole for an eagle 2, ending up six inches below the hole! Now, Darlene was walking to hit her third shot from about 50 yards, still with her fairway wood in hand since Ben was still so excited about his shot, he drove up to the green, grabbed his putter to tap the birdie in, and apparently forgot about his lovely wife, now getting ready to hit a chip shot with, yes, you guessed it, her fairway wood! Ben, finally waking from his "good shot trance", realized what Darlene had in her hand and said something like why the hell are you hitting a chip shot with a fairway wood. Well, you might imagine what Darlene had to say. I tell you, I've heard some salty language in my day, but had to close my ears! So, next time you see Ben, remind him the world doesn't revolve around him, though he is one of the best golfers at O'Bannon Creek golf Club, and his golf and life partner needs some attention as well.
Some of you weren't able to attend the closing Scramble and Dinner, and missed my final, closing remarks as Commissioner, so, here they are, for your reading pleasure or whatever. Enjoy!
The 2011 Season, Golf and Politics
August 26, 2011
Hello
everyone, my name is Dave Shaut and I’m running away from the position
of Commissioner of the O’Bannon Creek Golf Club Friday Night Couple's League. However, since I am
currently the Commissioner, it is my duty to preside over the closing
event, deliver a state of the Union to league members, and present
awards to top Scramble and Season performers. So I will happily perform
my final duties.
I
am pleased to tell y’all, despite the extremely difficult economic
times we find ourselves in, the State of the Union of the O’Bannon Creek
Golf Club Friday Night Couple’s League is good. Regardless of the
constant bickering on both sides of the aisle of the league, the
inability of any of you to agree on virtually anything, and only due to
my unilateral, benevolent dictatorship, the league is financially sound.
I lowered taxes by 50% from $40 per team to $20, the budget is
balanced (all revenue has been spent on golf balls and other prizes, mostly for my benefit). I’ve created jobs by getting all of you out
here to play golf (if that is what some of you like to call what takes
place out on the course) and eat on Friday nights, thus providing
revenue for the club, jobs for the employees, profits for our vendors,
and generating untold billions in profits, state and local taxes,
including social security and medicare, providing many league members
with their only means of support and medical care. In addition, I
personally promote higher education by selfishly providing direct
financial support to our many employees who are full or part-time
students via tips--you don’t think I drink because I like to, it is all
to support education. I also provide extremely valuable counseling to
our many college students, as only someone with my life and professional
experience is able to do. I’ve promulgated fair rules (#1 being have
fun), listened to your petty complaints and concerns, acted like I
cared, then gone off and done what I want to anyway because y’all know I
know best!
Now,
all these good things don’t come without a cost. The previous regime
treated you all like babies. For example, at the closing dinner, which
was included in the League Tax--yes, let’s call it what it is, a Tax--he
provided all kinds of “FREE” gifts. Let me ask you, is anything really
FREE? I think you know the answer to that! But I digress. He “gave”
you wine glasses, all kinds of Used golf self-help books (what was he
really saying--that you were all bad golfers), and seemingly everyone
went home with something. Does that remind any of you of a word that
starts with “S”? Socialism? Is that what you want, European Style
Socialism here at O’Bannon Creek. I don’t think so, not under my watch,
but in a little while, you all can do whatever you want. I suppose
some of you would like it if there weren’t any dues here, if just anyone
could play any time they want to, or you could walk into the
restaurant, eat and drink anything you want for free, if we took the
locks of the lockers and anyone could claim any locker they want, you
get the picture! Well, those type of “S” word things won’t happen on my
watch!
So
yes, you have to pay for your own dinner tonight. And, you aren’t all
going to walk out of here with a goody bag so you can all go home
feeling good about yourselves. I’m not handing out bumper stickers
saying “My Wife Is An Honor Golfer in the Friday Night Couple’s League
at O’Bannon Creek Golf Club” or “My Husband Scored Net Par on All the
Par 3’s at O’Bannon Creek Golf Club”. The only people walking out of
here tonight with prizes will have earned them by being the Best of the
Best. They know American Golf wasn’t made great through laying around,
hoping the government would give them a handout, pay for golf lessons,
carry their bag around the course, hit the shots out of the sand
traps--you get the picture. The rest of you have a choice--work hard,
practice, take lessons, and then just maybe next year walk out of here
with one of the hard-earned prizes. Or, you can just lay around, don’t
practice, seek pity from others telling them it just isn’t fair that
guys like Dave Shaut get all the prizes--we should divide up the prize
money equally so we can all have some! Better yet, we shouldn’t have to
pay anything to be in the league, and still all get prize money for
playing less than mediocre golf! Nope, not while I’m commissioner.
But
enough. To summarize, I’m leaving the house in good order, arguably
better than I found it. I can only hope you will choose a new leader
who will maintain the tough love standards I’ve established. Or, of
course, you can go an entirely different direction, elect a new
commissioner who will turn all those 7’s, 8’s, 9’s and 10’s into eagles,
birdies and pars. You can pick someone who will post all your scores
for you instead of making you walk up to the computer and laboriously
push all those keys. But if you do make that choice, remember, the cost
of all this largess will be borne by your grandchildren and their
grandchildren. If you can live with that choice, go for it!
Thank you very much!
Dave “The Ex” Commissioner
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